“Remember you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
Louise L Hay
Say that you have a friend, a good dear friend, who constantly berates themselves.
They say things like ..
"I'll never be able to earn more money!"
"I'm always so disorganised - I'm such a mess."
"Whatever I try, I am just one of those people who can't get fit."
"I will never progress at work, I'm just not good enough."
What would you say?
Would you say ...
"Yup, you are rubbish at all those things and you might as well give up because you'll never succeed."?
Of course you would not respond like that!
You'd be really kind to this friend. You would use words of encouragement. You would use words of support. Of love. You would give them confidence and point out their successes. You would have their back. Wouldn't you? Of course you would. You are awesome.
So let me ask you this ... do you have your own back?
Have you ever heard of internal dialogue?
It's the way we talk to ourselves in our own minds. And believe it or not, the way we talk to ourselves has a big impact on our mood, our confidence, and our success.
Negative self-talk is something that many of us struggle with, and it can often lead to imposter syndrome - that feeling that we don't belong or that we're not good enough.
You will never talk to anyone as much as you talk to yourself, in your head.
So do take notice of the words you use, and be nice to yourself.
Because we absolutely can counteract those negative thoughts by intentionally speaking to ourselves with kindness and compassion.
Our brains are always listening, so when we speak to ourselves with negativity or criticism, our brains start to believe it. But when we speak to ourselves kindly and with encouragement, our brains start to believe that too.
So, how can we improve our self-talk?
Notice your thoughts - pay attention to the things you say to yourself, and when you notice negativity, reframe it and replace it with something positive.
Use affirmations - choose a few positive phrases that resonate with you and repeat them to yourself throughout the day.
Practice gratitude - focusing on the good things in your life can help shift your mindset to a more positive one.
Surround yourself with positivity - spend time with people who uplift you and engage in activities that bring you joy.
Take care of yourself - getting enough sleep, exercise, and healthy food can all help improve your mood and mindset.
Be consistent. Practice makes progress. You won't change those habits in one take. But you absolutely can change them in time.
If you are thinking ...
... yup, that's me, my internal dialogue is not my best friend right now, there is a really beautiful exercise that you can do that can make a difference:
Finish your day, every day, by writing down 3 things you have done that day that makes you proud of you. Just 3 things. Every day. Create a beautiful habit of self compassion.
The benefits of speaking to yourself kindly are many. And you deserve to feel good about yourself.
You can improve your self-esteem, boost your confidence, and achieve your goals.
I encourage you to really notice how you speak to yourself.
Have your own back.
Be your own cheerleader.
And speak kindly to yourself, just as you would a friend.
If you notice that your internal dialogue hasn't been the best recently, and you would like some support to reframe that chatter and encourage you towards those goals, book a free mini 121 with me to chat about ways I could help.
And if you enjoyed the message in this week's blog, please share it with a pal you think it might benefit.